Either reply to all or none, alright?

There are 101 things that wind you up about working life. The fact that it always seems to '101 things' for starters, unless it's an issue with dalamations - in which case, that's just fine.

Today's topic/gripe/reason to go crazy with an axe at work is something I've coined 'The Reply to All Withdrawal Trick'. It's one of those comms things that really needs evangelizing, so please feel free to spread the word if this has ever happened to you:

1.You get an email of complaint along these lines

To:Tim Colman
From: Alan Idiot
cc: The Head of Your Department, The Head of His Department, Some other person in authority, A few others for good measure
Subject: You've messed up,haven't you?

Tim,

Last week I asked you to do some comms stuff for me. You didn't. As a result eight of my team died and I lost £500,000k.

Can you explain what the hell has gone on and why this is over a week late?

Alan


2.You respond like this

To:Alan Idiot
From: Tim Colman
cc: The Head of Your Department, The Head of His Department, Some other person in authority, A few others for good measure
Subject: RE: You've messed up,haven't you?
Attachment: Comms work for Alan email (dated last week)


Alan,

Not sure what you mean. I sent you that stuff about 20 minutes after you asked for it. I've attached the email for reference. Hope that clears that up. Sorry to hear about the deaths/cash.

Tim

3.And here comes the sting, with his reply

To:Tim Colman
From: Alan Idiot

Subject: RE: You've messed up,haven't you?

Tim,

Ah yes, my bad. Must have been something else that cause all those problems. Sorry I missed that.

Alan.


------------------------------------------------------------------

Spot the issue? It might look like a civil response, but look what he did. HE REMOVED EVERYONE FROM THE CC FIELD. Yes, he was very happy to include everyone he thought might want to know that I was an idiot, but when he turned out to be in the wrong his apology didn't go to them did it? Ooh no. Did they fall off in the wind? I don't think so, unless you're using some sort of 'Carry On' style email program.

As you might guess, this winds me up no end. Why? Because it's just poor manners. It's the equivalent of walking into a restaurant you've never been in, yelling "THE FOOD HERE IS DREADFUL", before being given the best meal of your life and then whispering your appreciation to the waiter. And I've never done that, and I've been to some pretty nice Nando's in my time.

I've taken to adding an extra email to the chain now, I often write back to the chap and stick all those cc'd names back in with a message along the lines of "No problem Alan. FAO everyone else, Alan did apologise." But, really, do I need to be doing that?

So please, help out, I don't need you to sponsor my mid-life crisis desire to do complex sporting events, I'm not asking you to (effectively) pay for me to jump out of a plane in the name of charity, I just ask that the next time you face 'The Reply to All Withdrawal Trick' you let the culprit know that you spotted them and they aren't getting away with it.

And if you want, cc me in too.

Being brave

I’m an awful electrician. Seriously, don’t let me anywhere near your wiring – I know nothing about it. You’ll end up with no power to your TV, a possible electrical fire in the kitchen, and my hair will perm up like I’m Kevin Keegan in the early 1980s.

Of course, I don’t pretend to be an electrician, I’ve not had business cards printed or come up with a memorable name (If I did I would be called I.M.A.Leccyman). But when it comes to my own profession, I often face just that problem – people who think they can do my job, but really can’t.

You know what it’s like. You spend an hour crafting a message, keeping it tight, focused, positive, and appropriate for the audience. It just needs sign off from the appropriate person in your business. So you send it to that person.

The next thing you see is a zombie version of your work heading back. It’s now lurching towards the reader in overlong sentences, slurring and screaming inappropriately hostile language, random apostrophes and commas hanging out like entrails.

For some senior managers, admitting that communications isn’t their thing would be a statement of failure. No-one ever wrote on their high-powered CV “I’m an expert in strategy, delivery and business planning – but I really have no clue about communicating, not one iota. In fact – I don’t even know what an iota is”.

The role of communications is something I’m passionate about, and not just because it pays the mortgage. Recognising that getting communications right, every time, is the key to helping organisations work better, is the mark of a great business. The best companies I’ve worked for have been the ones that understand that and use you as an expert, in the same way they would call in an expert on finance, HR or property if the need arose in those areas.

So, if you’re a communicator, believe in yourself and don’t be railroaded because someone is bigger, older, or claims to know better. With some people you can tell them straight, and they appreciate the feedback. I was in my early twenties when the Chief Executive of our FTSE 100 Company asked if a bit of filming we had done was any good. Frankly it wasn’t, so I told him: “It was alright, but I think we can get you better.” He listened, and we got something much, much better. It was scary, but not as scary as making him look bad on camera.

So be brave. Be better than just 'alright'. You might even surprise yourself.

Oh, and if you know a good electrician too that would be great, as I can’t get the lights back on in my house after trying to change a light bulb last week.

Playing the percentages

I love social media, I really do. Once you get past the lunacy, and the swearing, and the woeful spelling, and the ignorance, and the general awfulness.

Actually, it's great because of those things, because social media really does help in one of the most important communications activities - identifying who the idiots are so you can avoid them. Honestly, it's brilliant. You find out who the racists are, the fascists, the people who think that Keith Lemon is real, the people who think Keith Lemon is funny, it's an essential tool.

Twitter's quite good, because people keep things short and, by it's very nature, you are forced to make massively quick judgements too. But the mentalists do it so brilliantly, that I'm often only 54 characters in before I know this is someone I should never, ever speak with.

Facebook is a little harder, because people tend to have more time and space to put their views on or share some thoughts. It takes a bit more reading, but it does give you a more rounded view quite quickly. It's the blind date to Twitter's speed dating. And, as with dating, the length is important - nothing quite like a massive rant or post to make you understand just who you are dealing with. A basic rule - if you have scroll, it probably isn't worth reading (either that, or your screen resolution is way out of sync).

Even good old LinkedIn has a few extra functions, such as seeing the job titles of the people who have been looking at you. Favourites have included (there are verbatim) "Currently hav no job", "Comuniccations Expert" and my absolute favourite "A member of the Mental Health Community in the Ukraine." Although, I really need to know about that last one if I'm being honest.

Yes, all these tools help to identify the people I don't want to communicate with. Now, that might seem a little grumpy, but it's all about priorities. Because, by identifying the people you don't want to interact with, you can focus on the ones that really do deserve your time.

Years ago a friend and I came up with a theory called the 98% rule. It goes like this:

Of all the people you meet, only around 2% are worth bothering about. The other 98% aren't.

That might seem a rather cynical viewpoint, but I urge you to think about it in a positive way. There’s so many people out there who can’t wait to argue with you, punch you, stab you in the back, nick your spare change, kick you in the unmentionables – there’s so many of them that you should just accept it. Accept that 98% of the people in the world are simply not worth getting upset over. Most people will let you down – get used to it and minimise those people from your life.

Instead, focus on those 2%, the ones that make you laugh, lend you a pair of trousers, cover for you, remember that you like cola bottles, read your work and generally make your life a bit better. If you focus on them more you can get so much more out of life, I guarantee you. Those are the ones to connect with, to share ideas, to listen to. There's so much nonsense out there, why not cut through and listen to the people who really matter to you.

And use social media to do it. Go to your social network page now and look through those ‘friends’ who just wanted to be added for no real reason – and get rid of them, your life won’t be any worse.

Then start focusing on the 2% that matter to you, see what it does for you, and let me know how you get on. Or don't let me know, delete me, stop reading these posts, I really don't hold it against you and I won't take up any more of your time.

Unless of course I make it really big in the Ukrainian Mental Healthcare industry, then I'll be back to lord it up to everyone.

Hey, it's a brand new blog...I've never seen one of these before

Blimey, you must be keen.

Thanks for stumbling across the first post on We are all made of comms. Congratulations, by the way, because this was never pushed out to anyone - you've been keen enough to look at older posts. Bless you. Go and buy yourself something nice and pretend it was from me (wrap it up badly, if you want it to feel authentic.)

So, what's this all about. Well, I've been blogging on all manner of topics for many years now, and thought it was about time that I used the channel to talk about what matters to me at work. In short, I'm rising from my seat in the circle, taking a deep breath and saying

"Hello, I'm Tim, and I've been a communicator for more years than I can remember and I need to talk about it".

Thank you for accepting me into the group. I'm going to use this blog to talk about those comms things that could do with a bit of attention.

There are tons of blogs with titles like 'Empowering people through communications' or 'The 10 things a great boss will always say'. I know, I see them when I'm clearly looking for jobs networking on LinkedIn.

So, I've decided to tackle some of the more oblique issues. Over the course of the blog we'll talk about badly made signs, those things about email you thought only wound you up, and eventually you'll all want to either clutch me to your bosom or tell me I'm getting on your tits. Either way, we'll all have got something off our chest.

Thanks again for stopping by, hope you enjoy the rest of this blog, and feel free to share your thoughts if you want - we're all friends here.