Playing the percentages

I love social media, I really do. Once you get past the lunacy, and the swearing, and the woeful spelling, and the ignorance, and the general awfulness.

Actually, it's great because of those things, because social media really does help in one of the most important communications activities - identifying who the idiots are so you can avoid them. Honestly, it's brilliant. You find out who the racists are, the fascists, the people who think that Keith Lemon is real, the people who think Keith Lemon is funny, it's an essential tool.

Twitter's quite good, because people keep things short and, by it's very nature, you are forced to make massively quick judgements too. But the mentalists do it so brilliantly, that I'm often only 54 characters in before I know this is someone I should never, ever speak with.

Facebook is a little harder, because people tend to have more time and space to put their views on or share some thoughts. It takes a bit more reading, but it does give you a more rounded view quite quickly. It's the blind date to Twitter's speed dating. And, as with dating, the length is important - nothing quite like a massive rant or post to make you understand just who you are dealing with. A basic rule - if you have scroll, it probably isn't worth reading (either that, or your screen resolution is way out of sync).

Even good old LinkedIn has a few extra functions, such as seeing the job titles of the people who have been looking at you. Favourites have included (there are verbatim) "Currently hav no job", "Comuniccations Expert" and my absolute favourite "A member of the Mental Health Community in the Ukraine." Although, I really need to know about that last one if I'm being honest.

Yes, all these tools help to identify the people I don't want to communicate with. Now, that might seem a little grumpy, but it's all about priorities. Because, by identifying the people you don't want to interact with, you can focus on the ones that really do deserve your time.

Years ago a friend and I came up with a theory called the 98% rule. It goes like this:

Of all the people you meet, only around 2% are worth bothering about. The other 98% aren't.

That might seem a rather cynical viewpoint, but I urge you to think about it in a positive way. There’s so many people out there who can’t wait to argue with you, punch you, stab you in the back, nick your spare change, kick you in the unmentionables – there’s so many of them that you should just accept it. Accept that 98% of the people in the world are simply not worth getting upset over. Most people will let you down – get used to it and minimise those people from your life.

Instead, focus on those 2%, the ones that make you laugh, lend you a pair of trousers, cover for you, remember that you like cola bottles, read your work and generally make your life a bit better. If you focus on them more you can get so much more out of life, I guarantee you. Those are the ones to connect with, to share ideas, to listen to. There's so much nonsense out there, why not cut through and listen to the people who really matter to you.

And use social media to do it. Go to your social network page now and look through those ‘friends’ who just wanted to be added for no real reason – and get rid of them, your life won’t be any worse.

Then start focusing on the 2% that matter to you, see what it does for you, and let me know how you get on. Or don't let me know, delete me, stop reading these posts, I really don't hold it against you and I won't take up any more of your time.

Unless of course I make it really big in the Ukrainian Mental Healthcare industry, then I'll be back to lord it up to everyone.