I was recently at an exhibition and we were asked to join in by giving our feedback. I knew this from the sign that said "OFFICAL FEEDBACK ZONE". So my first bit of feedback was "You've spelt OFFICIAL wrong".
A particular 'delight' are those signs, usually at places of work, that begin "THIS IS A POLITE NOTICE" before going on to lecture you about something.
First of all, the phrase "THIS IS A POLITE NOTICE" rarely makes me think that is polite. If you're having to tell me it's polite, frankly, I don't believe you. In fact, just be polite in the first place. It's as deceptive as starting a conversation with "I'm not racist...but" or someone saying to you "I'm going to show you the funniest thing ever" before showing you an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys.
If you have to qualify it before you say it, think about what you are about to say. Then, probably, don't say it in that way. Or in CAPS. Or laminated, it's like you want people to spit on it or something.
And you don't need to say it's a NOTICE. I kind of got that from the way it was some words on laminated card on the wall. I didn't look at it and think "Ooh, what's that? Is it a kumquat?". Unlikely to be the case in the gents toilets.
In the office I work in we also have printers with little screens on that use lovely words. When I've finished printing it says "Goodbye...Print safely."
I can't help but reading that in a threatening manner. I think it's the dots, like it's saying "Be careful eh? You never know what could happen do you.... Watch it sunshine." It's like a Lexmark Reggie Kray. Also, I only really know how to "Print safely", it's rare I try printing standing in a bucket of water with a dangerously wired toaster in my hands or do A3 copies whilst poking a crocodile in the nipples.
Well, not since I was sacked from that zoo.
